Winds of Change

Malia pictureMy split personality is in turmoil. Well, I guess that’s kind of redundant since the very nature of having this split personality (of sorts) keeps my psyche in constant chaos. My “loves change, thrives on risk, bring on the challenges” side is having a big ole party right now. My “loathes change, risk averse, don’t mess with my life” side needs to breathe into a paper bag.

My little family is experiencing some significant and not so significant (but still stress inducing) transitions. The most significant is that David has started a new job. It’s exciting, it’s a great career move but it also poses some challenges for us. He’ll be, initially, working from home. That is really an exciting thing for me (and him) but it also means making adjustments to habits and spaces and schedules and expectations, etc. The next is that school ends in just two days and summer looms in front of me. Again, it’s exciting and fun but it also brings change to habits and schedules and expectations. I’m ready for it but not ready for it at the same time. And the last is that my first born will be seven-years old on Saturday. My children’s birthdays always seem to put me into a bit of a tailspin. She’s finishing first grade and coming up on another birthday all in the same week. You’d think I’d be used that combination. Last year, she graduated from Kindergarten and turned six on the same day! Talk about a roller-coaster of emotions! (If she turns eighteen and graduates from high school on the same day, I may need to be medicated!)

So yeah, I’m a little tense, weepy, irritable, lonely, giddy, sidetracked, distracted, nervous and excited. Throw in the lifelong coping mechanism of eating for comfort and it’s like PMS, only worse.

Can somebody please save me from myself?!?!

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9 Comments

Filed under by Malia, kids & family, life as a domestic goddess

9 responses to “Winds of Change

  1. Lisa

    Take deep breaths, Malia. :)

  2. michelle

    Deep cleansing breaths and medicate with your choice of drugs (or chocolate!) :) Just remember there is nothing that you and God can’t get through together! Hang in there!

  3. A few years ago, my Hubby was able to work from home. I was so excited. Somehow I thought, “oh, I’ll be able to see him during the day, and there’ll be no commute time, and he can have lunch with us,” etc.

    It was the biggest fattest pain in my big fat butt. ;-) Seriously. I was trying to keep the kids away from him, trying to keep the house quiet, trying to make sure lunch was ready at just the right time, trying to stay off the phone in case he was waiting for a business call, and so on.

    I couldn’t WAIT for him to go back to working somewhere else!!!

  4. Sending you lots & lots of hugs!

  5. maybe you should get knocked up again?

    HA!

    see, I distracted you for at least a minute!

  6. Malia

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ::sucks in big breath::

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    You’re right that did distract me. But maybe for about 45…50 seconds at best. ;)

  7. Working from home with a spouse who works from home is…a, hmmm, how do I put this positively?…good time to buy a bigger house?

    No, seriously. It can be good but it can be hard, too.

    Couple things I advise:

    1. Make sure he keeps a defined ‘workspace’. He needs this mentally and physically, so he can leave his work at the ‘office’. Make sure his workspace doesn’t encroach upon traditional family spaces like the kitchen table or the tv room.

    2. Make sure he keeps relatively normal work hours. It can be really tempting to work at odd hours of the day and night but that cramps your family style and your togetherness time.

    3. Make sure you don’t rely on him too much for household things during the day. Occasionally watching the kids for an hour is one thing; having him take half-days on a regular basis to babysit is another. And it can backfire because it doesn’t make the dividing line between “home” and “work from home” clear.

    4. Keep your receipts for everything. When you have a primary home office you can deduct a LOT of things off your taxes; a percentage of your mortgage and utilities as well as anything you buy for the home office. We save a lot in taxes every year by maintaining two home offices.

    5. Don’t freak out when he has “slow periods”. When I worked in an office we had days where nothing was happening and we had to stretch 2 hours of work into an eight-hour day. These are days when working from home is a good thing because instead of playing solitaire, surfing the web or gossiping around the coffee pot you can get laundry done, mow the yard or do the grocery shopping. The key is to not rely overmuch on the downtime for getting household things done.

    6. Create a space just for yourself that mirrors his workspace. It doesn’t have to be much–just a chair and a basket will do. But communicate clearly to all three kids that this is YOUR space and that you have boundaries, too. Traditionally the home has been “your space” and now everyone will seem like they’re encroaching when all they are doing is just being there. You need to reinforce that the home is your domain and your work. Your work is just as important as daddy’s and it’s just as important that you have your personal space. It’s good to teach kids boundaries and equal respect for house and office work.

    Hope this helps. And if all else fails–hard cider at sundown.

  8. Malia

    Thanks Katherine! That is some really good, sound advice for keeping a home office. While this isn’t a permanent situation, it will still be helpful for this transition period while David is at home.

    We have plenty of room in our home for David to set up a home office, we just need to do some serious clean-up/out work in that room to accomodate his needs!

    Thanks again for your words of wisdom and “been there, done that” perspective! :D

  9. Ooooh, Katherine’s advice was REALLY good! If ever I’m in a similar situation again (heaven help me) I’ll refer back to that… Very, very wise.

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