Coming into focus

Lately, I’ve been taking a lot of pictures.* When I have the camera in front of me, I’m focused on focusing. I’m looking for the best angle, I’m fussing over lighting and I’m focused on capturing the image in front of me.

Focus.

I put the camera down and my life becomes blurred. What do I focus on next. Do I: Write? Clean the kitchen? Tweet? Fold laundry? Update Facebook? Run errands? Read blogs? Make phone calls? Send e-mails? Prepare and cook the next meal? Look for a job? Do housework?

Endless possibilities and responsibilities. I’m having a very hard time focusing. Too much is forgotten, neglected…dismissed, unfocused…blurred.

When I try to focus on the tasks at hand, I’m overwhelmed. When I try and step back to look at the big picture and gain perspective, I’m even more overwhelmed. Caught between what I desire to do and what is desired of me. Wrestling between what I used to believe and what I now believe. Balancing motherhood and womanhood. Coming to terms with life and mortality and forever.

Wanting everything to come into…focus.

whitetuberose

*I’m working on a year long project with Blissfully Domestic that involves taking at least one photo a day and posting it to a Flickr group. Our official start date is October 1, if you’d like to join us.

About these ads

3 Comments

Filed under musings, on the other hand

3 responses to “Coming into focus

  1. Focus is not a strength of mine … that picture is amazing though!

  2. Pingback: Derek’s World « Outnumbered

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s