Invasion

Several years ago I became aware of new phenomenon in our country. I saw commercials about it, heard people talking about it, saw merchandise for it, etc. My nieces and nephew would frequently utter words that under normal circumstances were quite common but they were using them in odd ways. But this was all before I became a parent and so I didn’t give it much thought.

After my first child was born I was so consumed with diapers and feedings and sleep and diapers and feedings and sleep that I completely forgot about said phenomenon. And as my little girl grew up she was mostly interested in baby dolls, My Little Ponies and playing dress-up. Even once she started school, this thing that after so many years on the market was as popular as ever, never once lured her in.

Until now.

“Did you have a good day at school?”

“Yes. Guess what Mommy? I got to play Pokémon on the bus with Jane and John! Jane has a thingamabob and John’s got a whozit and since I don’t have any I just used this! (Holds up random fast-food kids meal toy.) It’s powers are the lime squirt and the strawberry freeze. We’re going to play again tomorrow and I just know I’m going to win with all these new defenses I made up for my whateverthisis!!”

“?”

A few days later…

“Hi sweetie! How are you? Did you have a good day at school?”

“Uh-huh. Look Mommy! Look what Jane gave me! She just gave it to me today on the bus. It’s a Pokémon card! My first Pokémon card and I’m going to keep this one forever and never trade it because it’s my first. See this symbol it means electricity and this shows something else and I can use it to battle this other card that John has…..”

“?”

Next day…

“Hi….”

“Mommy, Mommy! Jane gave me three more Pokémon cards and now I have a twin and I can start trading and this one here has the electricity like the other one and this one does this and this one does that and I think I can even come up with a game to play with these cards if you look at them for 10 seconds and then put them down and then match them up again just like Memory wanna play with me Mommy? Do you?”

“?”

And so begins our induction into the world of Pokémon. Please send any instructions, advice and tips to lostintheinvasion at confusedmother dot net. Why can’t she be trading My Little Pony cards? Ponies, I get. But Pokémon? I need serious help!