The No Questions Zone

I often daydream of home improvements I’d like to make. Knock out a wall here, repaint there, tear out the carpet here, replace light fixtures there. You know, the usual stuff. But lately what I need the most in my home is what I have a dubbed, “The No Questions Zone”. From the time they get up in the morning to the time they go to bed at night, the other inhabitants of this house bombard me with questions. And sometimes, I just need a break from the The Great Inquisition! I need somewhere where I can go where no one is allowed to ask me a question or even make a request.

Now, you may be thinking, just go into a bathroom or even your bedroom! Surely, there is peace and quiet and privacy in those places? Sadly, that is not the case. I get followed into the bathroom. Closed doors only mean that they must be opened. If by chance, the closed door is not penetrated, they have been known to stand on the other side of the door incessantly knocking, and talking, and…asking questions.

I imagine a little corner nook with a comfy chair where I can prop my feet up. It has a small table where I can set my coffee, a vase of everlasting flowers, a stack of good books, and it never gets cluttered or needs to be dusted. Best of all, the moment one the other inhabitants of the house comes within 5 feet, the are rebuffed by an invisible force field. They open their mouths to ask a question and find they’ve been temporarily rendered mute. They can only watch in awe as my brain decompresses, my jawline unclenches, my shoulders relax and I slowly transform back into a human being again leaving the walking ATM of dispensed answers and replies behind.

Please let me know if you find one at your local home improvement supercenter. I’ll drop everything I’m doing to come and get it. No questions asked.

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4 Comments

Filed under by Malia, kids & family, life as a domestic goddess, parenting

4 responses to “The No Questions Zone

  1. Elizabeth

    “Closed doors only mean that they must be opened.” I had to laugh out loud because I thought maybe you were talking about my house! Not even the noise of the shower can clue my children in to the fact that this is called “alone time.”

  2. I hear ya sistah. People just don’t get it. I seriously have a smallish person saying, “Are you going poo poo? Well, I want to see it” and trying to peer into the toilet. It’s unnerving, yet humbling!

  3. I feel your pain! I would love just to go to the bathroom without a child knocking just one time. If you find the “no questions zone” at a good price let me know! LOL!

    David’s Cousin,
    Theresa

  4. I found your blog because it was randomly linked to mine through an entry I wrote. I like! (Especially this one, LOL!)

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